WHO’S IN CHARGE – YOU OR YOUR HABITS?
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: most of our day runs on autopilot. Coffee before keys. Phone before feet hit the floor. The “just a quick look” that becomes twenty minutes. A nibble that turns into a raid. A scroll that bulldozes bedtime. In the UK, the usual suspects are phones and socials, sugar and ultra-processed foods (UPFs), caffeine, alcohol, nicotine/vapes, gambling and in-play betting, shopping and streaming, and – sneakiest of all – work creeping into evenings and weekends.
This October – thanks to Go Sober October from Macmillan – is a great moment to review your habits. Even if alcohol isn’t your focus, use the month to pick one behaviour that’s sliding out of your control and check whether it’s still in your safe zone.
None of that makes you “weak”. It makes you human. But it does beg the question: are you in control?
A habit is a behaviour your brain automates. However, it can become an addiction when that behaviour continues despite harm – you try to stop, but cravings and consequences escalate.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Ask yourself three things about any habit:
- Is it harming your health, mood, money, work or relationships?
- Could you control it – i.e., take a 30-day break if you chose to?
- Is there compulsion – you plan not to, then do it anyway?
If two or more land as “yes”, stop calling it “just a habit”. Treat it like a handbrake on your life and design your way out.
SCREEN TIME
For the first time on record, British adults now spend more time on their mobiles than watching TV – about 3 hours 21 minutes on phones vs 3 hours 16 minutes on traditional TV. That’s not a vibe; that’s data. Meanwhile, UK adults are spending roughly 4 hours 20 minutes online across devices each day – attention leakage by a thousand taps.
This matters because phones are a perfect storm of cues and rewards. They’re with you everywhere; the novelty hit lands in seconds (fast reward); the wins are unpredictable (variable rewards); and there’s zero friction (24/7 availability). Result: autopilot.
WHY SOME HABITS ARE MORE ADDICTIVE THAN OTHERS
Some habit loops grab you faster because the reward is quick and big – such as first-sip alcohol, nicotine, in-play betting, and new notifications.
Others persist because the payoff is unpredictable – such as social feeds, social likes, and slots – which leaves your brain chasing “maybe next time”.
Repetition in the same context – 6pm in the kitchen, the phone by the bed – pushes behaviour onto autopilot. Add relief learning – it removes stress, boredom or withdrawal – and frictionless design – always available, engineered to be “more-ish” – and you get habits that feel magnetic.
The antidote isn’t superhuman willpower; it’s fewer triggers and better swaps.
DO YOU HAVE ANY RED FLAGS?
| Area | Red flags to take seriously |
| Mobile / social | Phone within 5 minutes of waking or last thing at night; “phantom pings”; doom-scrolling that hijacks sleep or mood; screen time edging out movement, hobbies or real conversations. |
| Sugar / UPF snacking | Nightly grazing; hidden sugars in drinks/sauces; energy crashes late morning/afternoon; worse sleep after evening snacks; “I deserve it” self-talk on repeat. |
| Gambling | Chasing losses; “I’ll win it back tonight”; hiding statements; borrowing/new credit; escalating stakes/session length; late-night betting alone. |
| Vaping / smoking | “Just one” that restarts the cycle; planning days around vape/smoke breaks; irritability or focus dips between hits; cough/sore throat; sleep disruption. Around 11.9% of UK adults smoke. |
| Alcohol | “I’ll only have one” becoming three; regular 6pm cue; sleep quality dropping; missed workouts; creeping spend. Know your line: ≤14 units/week, spread over 3+ days. |
| Work / always-on | Guilt when not working; weekend/evening creep; loved ones say “you’re not here even when you’re here”; sleep shrinking. ≥55 hrs/week is linked to higher stroke and heart-disease risk. |
WHAT TO DO NEXT
| Area | Boundaries to set (make autopilot harder) | New things to try (make better easy) |
| Mobile / Social | Phone sleeps outside the bedroom. Two-time windows for messages/socials (e.g., 12:00–12:30, 18:00–18:30). | Turn on greyscale after 7pm; kill badges/most notifications (leave calls). |
| Sugar / UPF | Last snack by 8pm; no eating from bags/boxes – plate everything. | Two-week drinks swap after 6pm (water/tea/zero-sugar). Protein + fibre at lunch to blunt cravings. |
| Gambling | Site/app blockers on all devices; self-exclusion and bank limits; remove stored cards. | 24-hour cooling-off before any deposit; 9pm accountability text: “No bet today.” |
| Alcohol | Alcohol-free home for 7 days; pre-plan Fri/Sat with 0.0% options you like. | 6pm swap: brisk walk + AF drink + call a friend. Track sleep/mood/money saved. |
| Vaping / Smoking | Quit date in the diary; no vaping/smoking indoors or in the car. | NHS Stop Smoking support + appropriate NRT; 4D urge surf: Delay, Deep-breathe, Drink water, Do something else (10 mins). |
| Work / Always-on | No email after 7pm + auto-reply; two 90-min deep-work blocks (no meetings inside). | 3-minute shutdown ritual (top 3 for tomorrow, tidy desk, power down); WFH commute-walk to switch off. |
SIGNPOSTS
Sober October – Macmillan: www.gosober.org.uk
Try Dry App – https://alcoholchange.org.uk/help-and-support/managing-your-drinking/try-dry-anytime
NHS Alcohol advice & unit calculator: www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice
GamCare (24/7): www.gamcare.org.uk
GAMSTOP: www.gamstop.co.uk
Gamban: www.gamban.com
NHS Every Mind Matters (sleep & screens): www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters
HSE work-related stress: www.hse.gov.uk/stress
RADIO ASHFORD – LISTEN TO OUR SHOW ON HABITS
From phones and sugar to work, gambling, and alcohol – we’re talking Addictive Behaviour & Bad Habits and how to reset with Sober October.
Tune in Friday 17th October, 12:30–1:30pm on @radioashford 107.1 FM for The Feel Good Hour with @samgriffincommunications (Samantha Griffin) and Nigel Jones @9kmby9am
HAVE A GREAT DAY
Your Life Coach
You can find out more about how to make positive changes in my life coaching and NLP sessions and courses as well as my book, Walking Back To Happiness: The Secret To Alcohol-Free Living & Well-Being, which shows how you can massively improve your mental and physical well-being. Packed with over 70 exercises or steps you can take to improve your well-being and happiness, it’s a blueprint of how to live your best life! https://www.amazon.co.uk/Nigel-Jones/e/B0B7RP6LH6/
LINKS
Website – https://www.9kmby9am.com/
Podcasts – https://www.9kmby9am.com/about-nigel/podcasts/
Testimonials – https://www.9kmby9am.com/coaching/coaching-testimonials/
Coaching – https://www.9kmby9am.com/coaching/
My Book – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DLPH36R3/
Professional Bodies https://general-hypnotherapy-register.com/nigel-jones/ & https://anlp.org/members/nigel-jones
Newsletter – https://www.9kmby9am.com/latest-news/newsletter/
#SoberOctober #AddictiveBehaviours #BadHabits #AlcoholFree #DryJanuary #HabitLoop #MindsetMatters #9kmby9am #NigelJones #RadioAshford #FeelGoodHour #Ashford #Wellbeing #NLP #Hypnotherapy
Back to latest articles
